We were in the Wall Street Journal!
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748703961104576148692383748796.html?KEYWORDS=avastin
My girls
Grace getting to hold her sisters hand for the first time.
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Time is passing fast
I have had a lot of time to think this evening, both girls went down fast. Grace is almost 7! I can't get over this. She is this spunky, sassy little thing. She works hard and plays hard. 7... really? When did this happen. I am beginning to reflect as I always do as her birthday nears. I won't go into much detail tonight. But reader to be aware I am going to dip into some deep thoughts. ;o)
March 8th, is just around the corner and it is just a bitter sweet day for me. The day my babies were born, an exciting day, but such a scary day. If I close my eyes and just sit I can see it all, as if it happened yesterday. I can picture the people in the room, the sounds as my c-section took place. Brad holding my had, Dr. Bedi leaning over me telling me who he was and to not worry he would take care of my babies. The small squeak of a new born kitten that Grace made. The hurried steps of nurses and Dr.'s as she was taken care of. Then then absolute silence as Alex came out. The sudden feeling of dread followed by a lovely bought of nausea. Seeing my sweet babies for the first time, Grace squirming as I spoke to her and then slowly being wheeled off. My first memories of them are sweet and laced with the happiness of being a mommy and the wonderful drugs I was being given.
Seeing Grace for that first time once most of the anesthesia wore off is hard for me. But that memory comes back to me too. Sharp images, Grace on one side, Alex on the other. Who do I see first? Did I spend the same amount of time with each? Brad's face, and my mother's swim in these memories. Beeping, constant beeping and smell that I will never forget. One that haunts my dreams to this very day.
You would think that after 7years these images, smells and sounds would lessen, but they don't. They still assult my memory and seem to last longer. I have learned to deal, no that isn't the correct word. I have learned to cope. adapt, breath through these memories. Some are so clear I tear up and others, ones I want to remember are foggy and I believe that is my brain, my emotional side taking care of maybe what I can't handle. Will I remember in detail all of it? No I think not.
People think I am sure, "Why can't she just get over it? Or stop talking about it?" I will use a quote from one of my favorite movies here to explain this question. Pride and Prejudice when the younger sister is coming home married, "(Marriage) Is that all you can think about?" Ms. Bennet replies, "When you have five daughters, Lizzie, tell me what else will occupy your thoughts, and then perhaps you will understand." This is how I feel about Grace and about Alex. When you have lost a child, but still have the other half it is all you can think of. The what if's, the dreams you had the, what would he being doing now thoughts. I try to move on and not think about it at all. But when my sweet Grace flashes me her dimples to get another cookie once out of every 6 times I think, would he have matching dimples?
With Evelyn being in the NICU so recently I think I am thinking more about it than ever. Last yer was very hard on Brad and I, almost as if we had just been through it. So a second layer of healing is happening with our family and thankfully our two girls just help us pull through it.
I will close with this for now and end with a picture of a wonderful moment with Grace. I promise to post a few more of her journey closer to her birthday.
March 8th, is just around the corner and it is just a bitter sweet day for me. The day my babies were born, an exciting day, but such a scary day. If I close my eyes and just sit I can see it all, as if it happened yesterday. I can picture the people in the room, the sounds as my c-section took place. Brad holding my had, Dr. Bedi leaning over me telling me who he was and to not worry he would take care of my babies. The small squeak of a new born kitten that Grace made. The hurried steps of nurses and Dr.'s as she was taken care of. Then then absolute silence as Alex came out. The sudden feeling of dread followed by a lovely bought of nausea. Seeing my sweet babies for the first time, Grace squirming as I spoke to her and then slowly being wheeled off. My first memories of them are sweet and laced with the happiness of being a mommy and the wonderful drugs I was being given.
Seeing Grace for that first time once most of the anesthesia wore off is hard for me. But that memory comes back to me too. Sharp images, Grace on one side, Alex on the other. Who do I see first? Did I spend the same amount of time with each? Brad's face, and my mother's swim in these memories. Beeping, constant beeping and smell that I will never forget. One that haunts my dreams to this very day.
You would think that after 7years these images, smells and sounds would lessen, but they don't. They still assult my memory and seem to last longer. I have learned to deal, no that isn't the correct word. I have learned to cope. adapt, breath through these memories. Some are so clear I tear up and others, ones I want to remember are foggy and I believe that is my brain, my emotional side taking care of maybe what I can't handle. Will I remember in detail all of it? No I think not.
People think I am sure, "Why can't she just get over it? Or stop talking about it?" I will use a quote from one of my favorite movies here to explain this question. Pride and Prejudice when the younger sister is coming home married, "(Marriage) Is that all you can think about?" Ms. Bennet replies, "When you have five daughters, Lizzie, tell me what else will occupy your thoughts, and then perhaps you will understand." This is how I feel about Grace and about Alex. When you have lost a child, but still have the other half it is all you can think of. The what if's, the dreams you had the, what would he being doing now thoughts. I try to move on and not think about it at all. But when my sweet Grace flashes me her dimples to get another cookie once out of every 6 times I think, would he have matching dimples?
With Evelyn being in the NICU so recently I think I am thinking more about it than ever. Last yer was very hard on Brad and I, almost as if we had just been through it. So a second layer of healing is happening with our family and thankfully our two girls just help us pull through it.
I will close with this for now and end with a picture of a wonderful moment with Grace. I promise to post a few more of her journey closer to her birthday.
Sunday, February 13, 2011
Grouchy Old Men!!
Warning... The content in this message has really upset me, therefore I will begin a rant. Oh and it is long! ;o)
Brad and I took the girls to Friday's for dinner tonight. It was nice and not crowded. Other couples were set around us, including another family with a small child. Evelyn was being good, occasionally she should shout out cause I wasn't feeding her fast enough. Just her normal grunt shout that she makes. There was an older couple in the corner and they didn't even talk to each other as they ate their meal.
So all of the sudden the manager is at the older couples table. He starts to complain about the food, still not talking to his wife, then he starts to comment that while he knows this is an upscale restaurant but it is hard to be placed next to all this screaming children when you are trying to eat. UM excuse me! Did he just openly and very loudly complain about my child screaming! At first I thought I had heard wrong, so I blatantly stared at their table to hear the conversation better. He continues on his tirade about how loud my child has been and she is screaming. Um she isn't screaming I can show him screaming. Trust me if he really heard the lungs on this kid he wouldn't need his hearing aides any more.
We all continue our meal. Evelyn was really good, she was cute and smiling and every now and then, for a total of 4 times, she did her little shout out for more food or her bottle. Each time he would glare at our table I would give him my best southern women go to hell look right back. Think it ends here? NOPE!
Our/his waitress was waiting on the table across from him, giving them their food. While she is passing out their food he taps her on her back with his credit card and wants his bill now. She nicely ask him to wait just one minute and let her get all the food out. Well he wasn't standing for that! No siree! He wanted the manger again and right now. So I let Evelyn shout out again and let it last longer, YES ON PURPOSE!
Manager comes again and he is then very rude, goes on and on and on about my kids now. Umm Grace hasn't said a word, just her normal quite talk with her drawings. Dude he crossed the line. I had enough and Brad didn't even stop me, just nodded. He knew I was about to say something and didn't stop me at all. Tells you what he was thinking.
I then said loudly, "I am sorry if you find my children disturbing, I am doing the best I can to feed her fast enough." He said well, "I raised 4 kids and we never let them shout out at all. We got up from the table and left the restaurant." I raised my eyebrow, "Well I am sure you children have turned out just a nice and considerate as you and your wife are." Other tables, whom were all couples with out kids laugh at this. Grouchy man then says, "You have a nasty mouth and are being rude and do not know how to raise your children correctly." I replied in my nice southern female voice, "Well isn't that nice. I am sorry that your are such a miserable person and forgot that Friday's was a family establishment and loud to begin with. You should have gone some where more upsale." No reply from him and he left.
Now we have taken both girls out of a restaurant and quickly for being loud and fussy. Evelyn was not fussy she was talking to use and saying her new word Uh-oh loudly. She wasn't crying, screaming or throwing a fit. She was pleasant and when she did hit her breaking point, I was done and got the girls and up we went.
I get it with kids in restaurants, been there. But really do you have to be mean about it? When the hostess was about to sit you down, why didn't you just ask for a different table away from the kids? That would not have bothered me at all. You can complain about me any day, mess with my kids and you are playing with fire. Who gave him the right to judge me and how I am raising my children? Judging me as a parent. Lets look at you Mr. Grouchy. Couldn't talk to your wife the WHOLE dinner. Just sat there glaring at me, other tables and yelling at the waitress. Complained about everything, too much ice, napkin was abrasive, fork wasn't bent right and food not right either. Now lets look at my table, talking with my family, Grace giggling, Evelyn all smiles, talking about fairies with Grace and Brad playing tic-tac-toe with Grace. Seems I am doing a good job, both kids are happy and are able to entertain themselves at a restaurant. I just need to work on feeding Evelyn faster.
I feel sorry for you Mr. Grouchy, I pray that when I am you age I can look at a family like mine and smile and remember those days. Remeber how hard they are, how long the nights are and then blink gone. Seems to me his needs to go back and read his bible about the judging thing, missed some key point there buddy!
Funny thing was I was worried about how loud she was, then one couple in our area was like I didn't even know there was a baby there. The 3 other couples were like she is fine, nothing that warrants leaving.
So Mr. Grouchy here is my wish for you... I hope that in every non-upscale place you eat, there is a kid sitting near you. I hope that it will teach you humility and consideration. I hope that your grandchildren really teach you that in public and that you learn to go with the flow and get out of your misery. Life is not worth being miserable all the time. I also hope that if we meet again you are REALLY ready to hear all that I want to say to you! ha ha ha... ;o)
Brad and I took the girls to Friday's for dinner tonight. It was nice and not crowded. Other couples were set around us, including another family with a small child. Evelyn was being good, occasionally she should shout out cause I wasn't feeding her fast enough. Just her normal grunt shout that she makes. There was an older couple in the corner and they didn't even talk to each other as they ate their meal.
So all of the sudden the manager is at the older couples table. He starts to complain about the food, still not talking to his wife, then he starts to comment that while he knows this is an upscale restaurant but it is hard to be placed next to all this screaming children when you are trying to eat. UM excuse me! Did he just openly and very loudly complain about my child screaming! At first I thought I had heard wrong, so I blatantly stared at their table to hear the conversation better. He continues on his tirade about how loud my child has been and she is screaming. Um she isn't screaming I can show him screaming. Trust me if he really heard the lungs on this kid he wouldn't need his hearing aides any more.
We all continue our meal. Evelyn was really good, she was cute and smiling and every now and then, for a total of 4 times, she did her little shout out for more food or her bottle. Each time he would glare at our table I would give him my best southern women go to hell look right back. Think it ends here? NOPE!
Our/his waitress was waiting on the table across from him, giving them their food. While she is passing out their food he taps her on her back with his credit card and wants his bill now. She nicely ask him to wait just one minute and let her get all the food out. Well he wasn't standing for that! No siree! He wanted the manger again and right now. So I let Evelyn shout out again and let it last longer, YES ON PURPOSE!
Manager comes again and he is then very rude, goes on and on and on about my kids now. Umm Grace hasn't said a word, just her normal quite talk with her drawings. Dude he crossed the line. I had enough and Brad didn't even stop me, just nodded. He knew I was about to say something and didn't stop me at all. Tells you what he was thinking.
I then said loudly, "I am sorry if you find my children disturbing, I am doing the best I can to feed her fast enough." He said well, "I raised 4 kids and we never let them shout out at all. We got up from the table and left the restaurant." I raised my eyebrow, "Well I am sure you children have turned out just a nice and considerate as you and your wife are." Other tables, whom were all couples with out kids laugh at this. Grouchy man then says, "You have a nasty mouth and are being rude and do not know how to raise your children correctly." I replied in my nice southern female voice, "Well isn't that nice. I am sorry that your are such a miserable person and forgot that Friday's was a family establishment and loud to begin with. You should have gone some where more upsale." No reply from him and he left.
Now we have taken both girls out of a restaurant and quickly for being loud and fussy. Evelyn was not fussy she was talking to use and saying her new word Uh-oh loudly. She wasn't crying, screaming or throwing a fit. She was pleasant and when she did hit her breaking point, I was done and got the girls and up we went.
I get it with kids in restaurants, been there. But really do you have to be mean about it? When the hostess was about to sit you down, why didn't you just ask for a different table away from the kids? That would not have bothered me at all. You can complain about me any day, mess with my kids and you are playing with fire. Who gave him the right to judge me and how I am raising my children? Judging me as a parent. Lets look at you Mr. Grouchy. Couldn't talk to your wife the WHOLE dinner. Just sat there glaring at me, other tables and yelling at the waitress. Complained about everything, too much ice, napkin was abrasive, fork wasn't bent right and food not right either. Now lets look at my table, talking with my family, Grace giggling, Evelyn all smiles, talking about fairies with Grace and Brad playing tic-tac-toe with Grace. Seems I am doing a good job, both kids are happy and are able to entertain themselves at a restaurant. I just need to work on feeding Evelyn faster.
I feel sorry for you Mr. Grouchy, I pray that when I am you age I can look at a family like mine and smile and remember those days. Remeber how hard they are, how long the nights are and then blink gone. Seems to me his needs to go back and read his bible about the judging thing, missed some key point there buddy!
Funny thing was I was worried about how loud she was, then one couple in our area was like I didn't even know there was a baby there. The 3 other couples were like she is fine, nothing that warrants leaving.
So Mr. Grouchy here is my wish for you... I hope that in every non-upscale place you eat, there is a kid sitting near you. I hope that it will teach you humility and consideration. I hope that your grandchildren really teach you that in public and that you learn to go with the flow and get out of your misery. Life is not worth being miserable all the time. I also hope that if we meet again you are REALLY ready to hear all that I want to say to you! ha ha ha... ;o)
Saturday, February 5, 2011
Moody Visit
A great thing about living so close to Galveston is:
- We are close to the beach
- Great seafood
- Schlitterbahn water park is just about 35 minutes away
- Moody Gardens and all their attractions.
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| Seals being fed. |
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| scrunchy face... |
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| Me, Cecil and Evelyn |
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| My girls and I sitting in front of the seal tank. |
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| Sofia and the Penguins |
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| This little due was showing off for Sofia |
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| Evelyn sucking on the glass |
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| So excited to see the Penguins coming and going. |
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| Waiting for our show off to swim back by. |
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| Look at how tall all these girls are! |
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| Touching a star fish |
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| Still touching the star fis. |
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| Grace was still enjoying touching the star fish. We were so excited that she wanted to do this. |
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| Grammy and her two big girls in the tunnle. |
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| This part is just amazing to sit under and watch. |
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| Having fun |
100th day!
Kinder and 1st grade have a parade to celebrate 100 days of school. Poor Grace has been home for 5 days worth of school sick. She thankfully is well now and got to attend her 100th day of school.
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| Her lovely poster. |
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| Very exicted to be in the parade again. Her hat kind of messed up her hair a bit. Who is this kids mother? I mean doesn't she fix her up or what? ;o) We are finally in that, "I will fix it and get myself totally ready!" stage. I just bit my tongue each morning. |
BIrthday fun!
As promised here are some birthday pictures of Evelyn. She was too cute! I think the funniest part was when she got her cupcake. She first picked it up with her hands, then decided that she didn't really want to get messy. She then put her hands out to the side and leaned in just with her face. She was bobbing for cupcakes.
I still can't believe that she is 1 years old. Where has the time gone?
She went right for the cupcake. No fear here!
Thank you to all our family and friends for helping make Evelyn's first birthday so special and helping me to laugh about my cake disaster.
I still can't believe that she is 1 years old. Where has the time gone?
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| This was the replacement cake that SAMS made for me. It was yummy. Still sad about it. |
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| Grill master Brad cooking up the yummy hot dogs. |
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| Evelyn about to enjoy her cupcake. |
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| Bobbing for cupcakes! After she decided that a hands free approach was better there was no stopping her. |
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| Birthday girl enjoying herself. |
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| Present time. |
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| Taking a nap with Niki. She lasted the whole entire party. She slept for a good while too and was ready to play when she woke up. |
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| This is her original smash cake. I saved it cause I worked so hard on it and the original and darn it I wanted to eat that yummy cake. Yes I am still a bit sad about the cake. Thinking should I try to make Grace's or just be done forever? Maybe cupcakes? |
Thank you to all our family and friends for helping make Evelyn's first birthday so special and helping me to laugh about my cake disaster.
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Snow Day
A nice three day weekend is headed my way. I got the girls all clean and in bed and now I am enjoying the fire, a nice beer and my trashy TV. Yes I am addicted to trashy TV. Not sure why really, but I find some of these Housewives so captivating.
Snow day you say? Why yes, here in Houston. I hope it does have a little snow. I have a 6 yr old that really wants it. For Houston it is really cold too and my classroom has no heat coming in to it. So I am ok with staying in my warm house and playing with my girls. I think we will stay in our PJ's for part of the day and it we do get snow go out and play.
Night to all, as this is getting boring and I have nothing else to say. ;o)
Snow day you say? Why yes, here in Houston. I hope it does have a little snow. I have a 6 yr old that really wants it. For Houston it is really cold too and my classroom has no heat coming in to it. So I am ok with staying in my warm house and playing with my girls. I think we will stay in our PJ's for part of the day and it we do get snow go out and play.
Night to all, as this is getting boring and I have nothing else to say. ;o)
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