My girls

My girls
Grace getting to hold her sisters hand for the first time.

Thursday, December 30, 2010

Thinking about the past year

As I have been sitting here not able to sleep and watching trashy TV, I have been thinking about our past year. This time last year I was still pregnant with Evelyn and things were going so well. Grace was in kinder and learning so much so fast. Evelyn's birthday is just about a week and with that I have been thinking about her journey as well as remembering Grace's journey. Even though both girls were born so early their time in the NICU was so different. Grace had to fight so hard for so long and had SO many complications. Evelyn had to prove herself as well, but her stay was less complicated and smooth.

Evelyn has grown so much this year. She is already eating table food, crawling and pulling up to standing. We have been so shocked as she does things. We are not use to a child doing things when they are suppose to. Evelyn surprises us each day with all her new skills. I have caught myself at times looking at her thinking, "Um should she be doing this," and like a first time mother going to the books and seeing if what she is doing is normal. 

I am so thankful that she is hitting these milestones at a good pace, but at times I feel upset and worry about how will her and Grace be together. Am I raising them to respect each other and not be jealous towards each other for how they are physically and their abilities? When or will the questions come from Grace about if we both were in the NICU how come she can see and I can't? How do you answer those questions? There isn't a book at Barnes and Noble that I can read, I have looked. I know these things are coming and we do our best to be ready.

Along the line of thinking a new development came about this year. Grace has really started to ask questions about her and Alex. Hard questions, ones we didn't think would come later in life. I guess the spark of all the above thinking has come from Grace wanting to know more. It is hard, not going to lie. I don't know how to answer some of them, I don't know how I should tell her what she wants without all the details that are not appropriate for her age. We are working on it and when the questioning gets tough we turn to a counselor for Grace. Brad and I can talk about it a lot, but it still hurts and we are also learning how to show our emotion about Alex, but keep it in check too.

So with all that mushy stuff we have had GREAT things!!  Grace is reading so well and she LOVES to run. She runs all the time and it is something that she is very good at. She is getting better at writing and her drawings are wonderful. She is great with Evelyn and can get her sister to giggle like no one can. Evelyn has grown SO much. She is weighing in at 18lbs! She is our little piggy and has dimples for miles just like her sister.  Here are some highlights of our year.

A very rare standing moment. Just days before Evelyn was born

Just one day old.

About 2 weeks old. Finally getting to see her hair.

Meeting her sister for the first time.

Yup dimples just like Grace.

Finally a meeting face to face and getting to touch. Such joy!

So pitiful.

After 95 days getting to go home.

Graces ballet recital.

Just Grace

Sleeping beauty

You looking at me?

Read to move.

My little princesses.

Are we done here?

She is mostly this happy, but don't let it fool you.

Cookies, one of her food groups.
Happy New Year's to you all. I hope that 2011 brings you joy, love and plenty of memories.


  1. Oh Kelly! I also think about those times when hard questions will come. I guess we can just pray that God gives us the right answers and helps us raise our children to be sensitive and respectful of others differences. You're right there is no book that can help guide your through all of this. It is so wonderful to hear how well Evelyn is doing!! Praise God for our blessings and we ask for understanding and peace through the trials. Praying for a very blessed New Year for your family!!

  2. Hey Kelly,
    I don't think we've met in person, yet, but the NICU nurses said we needed to be friends. :)

    My 23 wkr twins are different in many ways. Boy w/ grade III IVH, pneumothorax, and ROP vs girl w/ grade I. Among other differences. They're four now, and my daughter frequently asks, "Why come P can't ___ like I can?" Our short response: "Everyone is different." We go into longer descriptions pretty regularly, too.

    I look forward to meeting you and your princesses some day!